Friends

Friends are a great thing to have, but what truly constitutes friendship can be hard to say. Are friends those people that always call you when they have a problem? Are friends those that you call when you have a problem? Or are friends you mutually share the good, the bad and even the ugly with on a daily basis? Like commiserating so you don't feel alone in anything you do.

I like to think that friends are the people you choose to be around and choose to share things with, whereas family was chosen for you by God! You can't pick family, but you can choose your friends. But how does one define friends or what friendship truly is? Does it require defining?

It does, if for no other purpose than to identify friends and determine if your expectations of certain acquaintances who over-share or over-step their bounds should be construed as "reaching out" for friendship? I've been burned on more than one occasion by those that I thought were friends were only using me as a resource. They had me around to fill a need for them. That's not friendship. When someone ONLY calls you because they want something from you, but doesn't call you to share in their prosperity or good fortune then they are not your friend.

Also, if someone ONLY calls you to "dump" all of their emotional garbage on your shoulders and expect you to help them sift through it until you make them feel better, then that's not a friend you want to have around all the time either.

A true friend is one that checks on you, your health and well-being and is genuinely concerned with your success and ultimate happiness. A true friend tries to help you achieve your goals and dreams without asking for anything in return. A friendship isn't about what you can get out of it, because what each one gets out of it is mutually satisfying and life-affirming. It's knowing that someone cares enough about you to tell you what you need to know, NOT what you want to hear. A true, real friend will tell you you're being a jerk or a bitch by the actions you've displayed, not tell you that your actions were acceptable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, a true friend allows you to be you, but also is strong enough to tell you when the you you're being is being someone you don't want to be. They are a sort of moral compass and should be heeded.

Fake friends won't ever tell you anything of consequence because they never notice you or your actions. Fake friends don't care enough about you to give you constructive criticism. Fake friends will criticize you, but it's the type that only tears you down, not intended to help you build yourself back up. A true friend will tell what you need to fix in your personality or actions so you don't continue down the wrong path or they will end their relationship with you. A fake friend will just leave and not tell you what needs to be fixed. They don't care, why should they? They never intended to be there for very long and only wanted to see what they could get from you without becoming emotionally involved or attached.